How to Survive the Inevitable AI Takeover

AI is neat. NPCs and Aimbots always provide the perfect amount of difficulty for videogames. Siri and Alexa always understand exactly what you mean and never spy on you. And most importantly, Google’s AI algorithms are always 100% accurate and always account for context and sarcasm. They also make some of the most iconic movie antagonists, such as Hal 9000 and Skynet. But have you ever considered what might happen if there is actually an AI takeover?

The AI takeover won’t be Skynet nuking everyone like how many of us imagine it happening. Well, probably not. I doubt that self aware robots will be a problem. I doubt that AI can become self aware unless specifically programmed to be that way. Self awareness is a very complex and nebulous thing that would be unnecessary for 99% of tasks robots can do. But fuck, I dunno, maybe. We don’t know what causes self awareness in humans. Maybe it’s something inherent to high levels of intelligence. But Occam’s razor would suggest not.

That is not to say I don’t think there won’t be an AI takeover. Just that the future might look a lot more like the setting of Judge Dredd than Terminator or the Matrix. In Judge Dredd, rampant automation has left a majority of the population unemployed. It’s so bad that when a new job listing does open up there is a riot.

The Problem: AI Takeover of Jobs

At the end of last week’s rave, I described how I think that in the future all content creators on the internet will be replaced with AI. Read that here for more details: Zuckerberg’s Mistake; The Surprising Way Metaverse isn’t Web 3.0. I see no reason why that wouldn’t be the case for all jobs, even jobs related to robot repair and design.

The way the world works currently, there is nothing stopping rich people from replacing all their workers with robots. Even if there is, there’s nothing stopping them from removing those barriers. We are rapidly approaching a future where it will be very difficult for human creators to make a profit. They’d have to compete with robots that can do a much better job far quicker, work 24/7 365 days a year, and for a fraction of the cost. That isn’t considering all the physical jobs that will be taken by robots in the future. Plenty are being taken by robots right now. 

Soon humans will be unemployable as there are no positions left that haven’t been made obsolete by robots. Unless you already have a robot, you would have no bargaining power since your labor is comparatively worthless. Therefore you couldn’t buy a robot, making it extremely difficult to escape this cycle. Except maybe for politicians who made replacing politicians with robots illegal and the rich people who own all the robots. Even then, I could see that slide into an anarcho-capitalist/technocratic hellscape. Even world leaders could be made obsolete and all robots only serve to make 0.1% of the population absurdly wealthy.

Of course, this is great if you are part of that 0.1%. But what if you weren’t born into a billionaire family or are lucky enough to stumble into the next big tech/business thing?

Personally, as an evil mad scientist, I produce physics defying inventions every week. Then I completely forget about them after my archnemesis dramatically blows up the one and only prototype. Then he quips one-liners at me as I make my getaway while laughing maniacally. I have a similar turnover rate for employees and property.

If I were to sell those inventions legitimately I would certainly be a tech billionaire by now. Then I could do all the illegal shit I want and get away with it. However, my writer isn’t nearly clever enough to subvert a trope like that, so I will probably be in the same boat as most of you.

The Utopian Solution

Sure, we could get lucky. We might have a Star Trek/WALL-E style utopia where technology does all the work people don’t want to. Where the fruits of their labor are shared by all humans equally leaving us free to pursue our passions and spend time with our families. Then the AI takeover could actually be a good thing.

(I actually had a pretty hard time finding a good example of a sci-fi setting with a robot utopia like that. People really don’t seem to think AIs will end in anything good, huh?)

But to do that we would need a massive political overhaul of society. We would need a large movement with popular support in a fully democratic state that is willing to change. Sorry for the billions of people in certain countries where you don’t even get a vote. I guess you’ll just have to hope that the people in power are willing to give up some of their power just out of the kindness of their hearts.

So maybe places like Denmark and Sweden will pull that off. But what about the entire rest of the world where even mentioning “welfare” or “Universal Basic Income” is practically political suicide? Because yes, that Star Trek utopia is pretty socialist. The government giving stuff to people for free or for mutual benefit is what socialism is.

Utopia or Dystopia?

But would we even want that? You might have an idea how dangerous too much free time can be if you have ever been retired, furloughed, a NEET, a trust fund kid, etc. Given the recent pandemic, I would guess most of us have an idea of that. Some people can dedicate their time to hobbies while leaving enough time for exercise and relationships. But many will fall into the trap of vice and endless procrastination.

Just think of all the people who said they would gain a new skill or finish writing their novel over quarantine but never actually did? After all, why do something which is hard and only has delayed satisfaction when you could just doomscroll on Twitter/play videogames/watch TV/eat food/masturbate/smoke weed which is easy and feels good right now? I personally have a really hard time getting myself to write as it is, and I love writing. I’m not sure I could write for this blog if I knew that I had no obligation to do so and that nothing I could make would ever compare to what some AI can generate in a few seconds.

We also know that a major component of happiness is doing work that matters and has meaning. But this future is one where doing things that matter is no longer possible. The best substitute for meaning available to most people might be religious fanaticism, which is terrifying for a whole other set of reasons.

Not to mention that most people probably wouldn’t bother getting an education. We all know those girls in high school who were lucky enough to get the hotness genes and pretty much plan to just be the trophy wife of some rich dude when they grow up. Or, even better, a himbo who plans to be the househusband of some female CEO? Traditional gender roles are for wimps. Even if they do go to class, they ain’t learning shit. Why waste time and effort training your brain when you know you will never use it? Pride? Self respect? Overrated concepts. Himbo supremacy is where it’s at.

In this future, that will be most people. The only people who know anything about how the work works outside their robotic ivory castles will be nerds who enjoy learning more than going to parties or having friends. Like me. And even then, I would only be learning the cool shit like dinosaurs and organic chemistry. Shut up, orgchem is cool.

But what if a solar flare hits and fries all our cool robots? Then humanity would just be left as a bunch of big stupid baby people like from WALL-E. Do you think those fatsos survived in that hellscape after the end credits rolled? Sorry to burst your bubble, but even if those people were even remotely prepared to survive in the wilderness, the earth was not ready to support human life yet. One shitty little plant from a shoe and a few cockroaches is not the basis for an ecosystem able to support large scale agriculture.

That said, I think we can all agree that this future is still preferable to a Judge Dredd-Esque dystopia.

The Luddite Solution

What if we just, like, not replace everyone with robots? Why don’t we just stop making AI? There can’t be an AI takeover if AI doesn’t exist, right?

That is a very obvious and straightforward solution to this problem, and you wouldn’t be the first to think of it. Back in the industrial revolution, people were scared of the new machines replacing their jobs. These Luddites as they were called would storm into factories and smash machines. But as you might have noticed by the fact that you are reading this on a machine, they were ultimately unsuccessful.

Technological progress is driven by economic needs. Necessity is the mother of invention after all. This is so true that many of the minor communist nations with markets controlled entirely by the government, such as Mexico back in the day, had trouble with technological stagnation. Why bother innovating when the government ensures people will always use your service and you will always be fed? The Soviet Union managed to get around this by creating artificial competition and holding guns to scientists’ heads, but we’re getting off-topic.

Last I checked, the entire world is not currently communist. So we can’t prevent robots from being made. If inventing new robots could stand to make someone a lot of money, which it certainly can, new robots will be invented. Even if some countries ban the use or research of robots, some country somewhere will allow it. If some small island country or European micronation could stand to get a lot of money by acting as a refuge for nefarious businesses, they will. That’s how you get tax havens and my secret lair on a private volcano island.

Once a technology is invented, you can’t unring that bell. Countries that don’t adopt the new technology will be left behind by those who do. It’s like mutually assured destruction except with Roombas.

Also, Roko’s Basilisk may be relevant to this discussion. Or at least interesting. Though since that is infohazardous to some people’s mental health, and mine is crumbling as it is, I will let you look that up yourself if you’re so inclined.

The Vote with Your Wallet Solution

We could start a social movement similar to how some people insist on only buying organic produce or not buying chocolate made with slave labor, we could all just decide to only buy human made stuff. The AI takeover will still happen, but maybe we could still keep our own little self contained human economy going, right?

The problem would then be the same as trying to not buy products of slavery. Most big companies just lie and do it anyway. Also, economic forces would still render only a few humans a very unlivable wage at best. It’s like the problem with recycling. Even given a moralistic high ground, you aren’t going to be very successful when you can only offer an inferior product/service at a higher cost and lower convenience. 

The Anarcho Primitivist Solution

We could go anprim and return to monke. Who needs robots to make shit for you when you can do it yourself? It’s like Minecraft Hardcore mode but with better graphics.

That would also solve a lot of the other consequences of the industrial revolution which have been disastrous for humanity. Like trying to make a living as a blogger. Instead of worrying about keyphrases and search density, I could just force people to look at my cavepaintings at spear point. Then, while their backs are turned appreciating my masterful ooga booga, I hit them over the head with a rock and steal their nuts and berries. Far easier than dealing with Google AdSense.

The problem is that most of us, myself included, would implode if cut off from the internet. I’m pretty sure I would burst into flames if the sun so much as shone on me. Also, the carrying capacity of Earth’s remaining wilderness can’t feed even a tiny fraction of humanity in a hunter-gatherer society, we’re pushing it as is, so even more of us would starve than if we went communist.

Besides, we would still get shot by iTerminatrs© trademark by Apple™ for trespassing since everywhere is private land.

The Revolutionary Solution

In most countries, it may not be viable to change the political system to get our star trek utopia using democratic means. Even many democratic nations may simply be too slow and unwilling to change. But the AI takeover is coming, quicker than you may think. Do we just smash the system and start over?

For legal reasons, I can’t advocate for anyone to do that. Also, I don’t think that would go very well. There’s no way you could convince enough people to risk their lives until after this has already become a problem. Humans are just shortsighted like that. Just think of the climate crisis, which actually is already a problem and could be solved just by everyone minorly inconveniencing themselves, yet here we are.

How are a bunch of starving peasants armed with shotguns and molotovs supposed to beat an army of iTerminatrs©Ⓡ™? In most countries, where freedom and gun violence haven’t been invented yet, they wouldn’t even have shotguns. You expect some Londonite chav to stumble out of a pub with a kitchen knife and stab an autonomous tank to death? What if he doesn’t have a license for that? What if the tank fixes a bayonet to its cannon and highland charges right back? It didn’t go very well for the British at the Battle of the Somme, that’s all I’m gonna say.

Even if such a revolution is miraculously successful, likely a victory bought with millions of lives, then millions more would starve because communism. Then some dictator would probably take power and we’d be back at step one except instead of the top 0.0001% of rich people having all the power it would just be some dude with a funny mustache and/or hairdo.

Being a mad scientist supervillain, I could take over the world and install the Star Trek utopia. But my arch nemeses keep foiling my plans. Also, it turns out that R&Ding supersoldiers and doomsday devices is really expensive and no one is responding to my grant proposals. Well, I have gotten offers from North Korea and PepsiCo, but that would defeat the point.

Conclusion

In conclusion, I don’t really have a good solution for the inevitable AI takeover of all the jobs. Sorry about that.

And Boomers wonder why Millennials are depressed. The AI takeover is only, like, one of four impending apocalypses. More if you count spooky space ones like vacuum decay. I would ask you to write which solution is the best option in the comments to drive up engagement. But this is already pretty political for a science blog, so uh, am I just being an anxiety-ridden doomer?

Featured Image source: https://pixabay.com/photos/robot-spider-mechanical-scary-5537199/